"Being Here is So Much"

acrylic on canvas, framed, image is 48"x60"

"Oh, not because happiness exists,

that too-hasty profit snatched from approaching loss.

But because truly being here is so much; because everything here

apparently needs us, this fleeting world, which is some strange way

keeps calling us. Us, the most fleeting of all."

Rilke, Ninth Duino Elegie

These are crows. My painting was inspired by a visit to the Seattle Art Museum where I came upon a gigantic screen standing all alone in a quiet, carefully lit room. It was Japanese, from the Edo period, circa 1650. The screen itself was massive. The sheer size of it gave it presence. But it wasn't the size that made the impression on me, it was the enormous energy of the subject matter. The screen was nothing but beautiful black crows in all sorts of postures against a luminous golden background. It made the entire room feel like a holy place. It was beautiful beyond words.

On reflection it doesn't really matter what kind of birds they are, although the crow has many symbolic connotations. What moves me is the mass of them--the visceral pulse created by so many wings. The air vibrates with the lift they create, the affect of which for a moment makes me feel I could lift off with them. I want to so much and for one magical breath I almost believe I can. Then, a startle, the moment flashes past and they, those marvelous creatures, heave upward as one and are off!--without me.

In case you are wondering, there are 40 of them...and yes, like us, they are each different.